Clear Your Cookies
You’ve probably heard the term, “garbage in, garbage out”? Did you ever take a look at what you’re reading, watching, reviewing on social media? Is it mostly negative? Are you looking at Facebook and comparing yourself to the people you see? “Why can’t I have such a perfect family?” And how about the people in your life? What do you usually talk about? For many of us, we get together with friends or family and the conversation somehow becomes a litany of complaints.
Assess your environment, your friends, family, your financial situation and your health. What is holding you back? What is toxic? What is productive? When was the last time you stopped everything and took a good look at yourself, where you are now and where you want to be?
Sometimes we get so busy going from one day to the next that we allow life to just happen instead of making it happen the way we want it to. In her book, Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting, Lynn Grabhorn talks about how the majority of our daily thoughts center on things we don’t want. She says when we constantly ruminate on these things, we give them more power and focus than we should. She says we need to flip this thinking and focus on the positive things we want instead.
You must examine your life and fill your mind and body with positive energy, positive thoughts, and surround yourself with positive people. If you don't control the energy in your life, it will control you.
Activity: Be mindful and pay attention to your thoughts throughout the day.
Notice when you are thinking or speaking negatively. What happened to cause the shift? Was it something you read, heard, or saw? Did you allow someone else to steal your joy?
Jot it down. What’s your ratio of positive to negative thoughts? Positive Psychology research says that a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative thoughts are necessary to sustain joy.
Practice reframing. How can you look at your negative thoughts differently? Ask yourself “How can I see this differently?” So instead of saying I’m so mad that I got stuck in that traffic jam, you can say "Well it’s an opportunity to take some quiet time for myself."
Make the conscious effort to redirect your attention to positive aspects that uplift you.
Try a complaint cleanse: Pick a time frame and try not to complain. See how far you get.